Tag: domestic violence

Surviving An Abusive Relationship

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When she married her ex-husband in 1999, Lauren,* a mother of three, never dreamed she would find herself needing the services of CHANA.

Ray Rice is Now a High School Running Backs Coach in his Hometown

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Rice signing autographs in 2009, via Wikimedia Commons

Former Ravens standout Ray Rice has finally made his way back to a career in football. It’s just not exactly what he was aspiring for.

Ex-Raven Ray Rice: ‘I’m Never Going to Give Up’ on Comeback

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Ray Rice in 2010, via Wikimedia Commons/U.S. Air Force Staff Sgt. Benjamin Hughes

Nearly three full years have passed since Ray Rice last suited up for a professional football team. Yesterday, when Rice made a homecoming trip to play in a charity basketball game in Baltimore, he said he still doesn’t quite yet see the light at the end of the tunnel for his career.

Steve Smith Is Raffling Off His Game-Worn Cleats To Help Domestic Violence Victims

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Courtesy House of Ruth Maryland

Ravens wide receiver Steve Smith has had a great season, defying the odds against him as the NFL’s oldest wide receiver and helping his team to arrive on solid ground with four games left in the year. Amid that success, Smith has been using his high profile to raise awareness for a cause that he’s very passionate about.

Does Ray Rice Deserve Another Chance?

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ray-rice-run2

Every week seems to bring a new NFL drama. This week it’s Tom Brady’s turn (again). But despite the focus on deflategate, there’s another scandal-plagued football player being discussed in ESPN circles: Ray Rice.

For Ravens, Ray Rice Ripple Effect Continues Into Offseason

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ray-rice-run2Ray Rice is no longer a Raven, but the fallout from the elevator incident that ended his career in purple continues to influence how Ravens brass look at their team.

Be Aware–Maryland’s New Laws Take Effect This Week

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Law and Marijuana

Starting on October 1 (this Wednesday), a number of new laws take effect in Maryland. They involve drugs, discrimination, domestic violence, and driving. Read on to be reminded how not to run afoul of the law:

Marijuana decriminalization. Stoners, rejoice: As of this week, if you’re caught with less than 10 grams of marijuana, you’ll face civil charges (instead of criminal ones). First time offenders can expect a $100 fine, rising to $500 the third time you get caught.

Why Adolescents Should Watch the Ray Rice Video

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Photo courtesy of wordondastreet.com
Photo courtesy of wordondastreet.com

I usually resist watching videos released by the media that warn viewers of their graphic nature. I’d be a little more happily naïve today had I gone with my usual guidelines on media voyeurism. But maybe, as disturbing as the Ray Rice elevator-scene video was, it’s a good thing I saw it. Maybe my adolescent son and daughter should see it too. But that wasn’t my initial reaction.

It wasn’t just the blow that Ray Rice unleashed on his then-fiancé that made me wince. It was seeing the way he dragged her lifeless body out of the elevator as she lay, face down, her legs and part of her backside uncomfortably exposed, like a Barbie doll missing a key part of her outfit, that I couldn’t shake. It made me want to get a blanket and cover her up, quick.

The following day, when I read the comments of Rice’s (now) wife, once again I wanted to throw a blanket on her. This time, the blanket would have been to cover up the seemingly skewed message she delivered, particularly this segment: “THIS IS OUR LIFE! What don’t you all get. If your intentions were to hurt us, embarrass us, make us feel alone, take all happiness away, you’ve succeeded on so many levels. Just know we will continue to grow & show the world what real love is!”

Real love, huh?

Instead of defending the man who’d punched her unconscious, Janay Rice could have made a powerful statement and sent a strong message to young people about partner violence. But, at least publicly, she scolded the media for exposing her husband’s violence against her—something she perhaps felt ill-equipped to do.

The prevalence of domestic violence seems out of place in today’s world, when many women have become as or more powerful than men in significant ways. An ever-increasing number of women are joining the ranks of CEOs at leading companies; more women than men are enrolling in and graduating from college; and, increasingly, women (40 percent of those with children under 18) serve as the sole or primary contributor of their family’s income, according to the Pew Research Center.

Advancements aside, troubling high-profile cases of domestic violence continue to surface in the media. Chances are, many low-profile but equally horrific cases occur out of the limelight. It leaves me wondering what I can do to prevent my own adolescent children from one day becoming a perpetrator or victim in a violent relationship.

I like to think that growing up in a stable, loving family where physical violence plays no role is enough to prevent my kids from getting involved in unhealthy relationships later in life. But I’m not sure if that’s a guarantee.

After the Ray Rice video went viral, I tried talking to my kids about how wrong it is to hurt or accept harm from anyone with whom you’re in a relationship. It came out sounding stilted and preachy. I mentioned earlier that I don’t like watching videos containing warnings of their ‘graphic’ nature. To date, I’ve tried to limit my kids’ exposure to them, too. But maybe in this instance, permitting or even suggesting that my kids watch the elevator video will lead to an open conversation about domestic violence, one that packs a punch more powerful than Ray Rice’s.

 

 

Here’s What You Should Do Instead of Arguing About Ray Rice

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After months of controversy following TMZ’s release of a video showing Ray Rice dragging his unconscious fiancee out of an elevator, things got even more intense yesterday: TMZ released further footage showing the roundhouse punch Rice delivered. An internet storm of bad publicity ensued. By the end of the day, Rice’s contract with the Ravens had been terminated. Reactions have included mockery, glee, and anger.


But is there a way to channel all the chatter into something that might actually make the world a better place? I’m glad you asked!