Even the caveman knows bands are absolutely not moving from Baltimore to D.C.
Even a caveman would know bands are absolutely not moving from Baltimore to D.C.

OMG. Thanks, Baynard Woods from City Paper for pointing this out! You have got to watch this video in which Dave Holmes — the guy who impressed everyone on MTV’s I Wanna Be a VJ with his vast knowledge of popular music — displays his absolutely INCREDIBLE ignorance of Baltimore’s music scene for the pure sadistic pleasure of watching someone get something so wrong.

So here’s the deal. Indie Across America is a Geico-sponsored web series in which Holmes “tracks down some of the most talented indie bands across the country and gets to the heart of what makes them tick.”

The episode focusing on Baltimore features DC band Shark Week — already insane. Holmes sort-of half-justifies this by pointing out that DC has a music scene, whereas Baltimore does not. He even claims that Baltimore bands are moving to DC. It’s the kind of statement that makes me want to get a question-mark-exclamation-point tattooed on my forehead. I mean, I can’t speak to DC’s music scene, but Baltimore bands DO NOT move there.

But by far the best part is when Holmes outs himself as the world’s worst Googler: “Here’s the deal. I looked into Baltimore, and I couldn’t find a whole lot about Baltimore’s music scene.” Was his computer screen busted? Can someone really type “baltimore music scene” into Google without discovering Beach House, Dan Deacon, Future Islands, Wye Oak, Scottie B, Dope Body, et al.?

To Shark Week’s credit, in the interview portion they undermine Holmes’s initial assertions that Baltimore has no identity, calling Baltimore “a cool breeding ground for interesting, against-the-current music.”

Feel free to watch the video and shake your head. You’ll be shaking it with every other Baltimore music fan.