David Simon Visits Camp David, Steals Nothing

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David Simon

According to a post at David Simon’s personal blog, the Wire creator recently paid a visit to the “small coterie of vacation shacks” in Western Maryland known as Camp David. And while he couldn’t disclose much in the way details, we do know he didn’t walk away from the presidential retreat empty handed. Simon reported that he made off with a martini shaker sporting a presidential seal. (EDIT: But I guess he was just kidding.) And he had photographic evidence to back it up.

Simon referred to his Camp David stay as a “humble-brag visit,” but it’s a pretty uncomplicated brag. He (claims, but who can say whether he) gave a “little talk on public housing policy,” after which (maybe) he “drank a couple shots of presidential Jose Cuervo,” (supposedly) “played a game of presidential darts,” and “tilted a presidential pinball machine” (or maybe that was “satire”). He also did (may have done) some layups in “the presidential ball court” and bowled 10 frames “in one of the presidential lanes” (but probably actually didn’t).

The presidential martini shaker, complete with a spread-eagle and the words “PRESIDENTIAL RETREAT * * CAMP DAVID,” he swiped as a memento (but he didn’t actually; isn’t this an amazing fake story?!).

Visit Simon’s blog for a picture of the pilfered prize fake thing (“who knows which historical lips savored its chemistry”).

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  1. He didn’t steal the martini shaker. It is satire.

    David Simon: “I wondered when I wrote it — even with all the embedded cues — if some Brietbart-brained $%#$^& would run wild and I would end up swirling around the internet as a thieving lout. It would be a small taste of what Mencken enjoyed when he published the outrageous canard that Millard Fillmore had invented the bathtub and had the first one installed in the White House.

    Before he owned up to the falsehood, it was being published in history books, regardless of how many Roman and Greek baths had to that point been unearthed and chronicled by archeologists.

    What is that they say about a lie going around the world while the truth is still lacing up its boots?”

    • And cutting satire at that! Little did he suspect that a non-Breitbart-brained $%#$^& would “run wild.” Thanks for the tip!!!

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