Gawker Says the Baltimore Accent Is Ugly

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Gawker Disses the Baltimore Accent

Gawker just released the bracket for their own America’s Ugliest Accent Tournament, decided by user votes. In Round 1 Baltimore is pitted against Boston.Okay, Gawker, I’ll bite!

I have to tell you what I find most interesting about this is that Baltimore is seeded no. 16, meaning — as far as I can tell — that Gawker decided it is least likely to be determined the ugliest of all accents represented, and a far cry from Boston, seeded no. 1.

In giving the rundown of each accent in the first matchup, Gawker more-or-less gets the Baltimore accent right, giving two example phrases of words cribbed from “warshing an Ole Bay stain out of your shirt in the baffroom during an Oh-ree-oles game” and “Get dem highgeranium plants in ‘fore dey freeze.”

I don’t think those phrases do the accent justice. Shouldn’t it be “Owd Bay”? When I think of the Baltimore accent, I always think of “how cowd it gets inna winner here” or “goin downa zoo an see a bawd eagu” or something like that. Anyway, I think it’s mostly about dropping the L and pronouncing the hell out of the O. But I’m a transplant, so what do I know?

But here’s the real problem. If I want to show my support for Baltimore in this ridiculous tournament, should I be voting for Baltimore or Boston? Do we want to win or lose?

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