According to Brandon Weigel over at City Paper, Ozzy Osbourne has sent Brewer’s Art  cease-and-desist letter regarding their “Ozzy” ale. Beyond the name, the beer is sold in cans with some blatantly Osbourne iconography (a tattooed fist and some headless bats). Apparently, “negotiations are ongoing.”

While we wait to see how it lands, here are some ways I think they could salvage the name:

+ Replace the fist with a grinning Dorothy Gale’s four front teeth. Replace the bats with flying monkeys.

+ Replace the fist with the outline of Australia. Replace the bats with various marsupials.

+ Change the spelling to “Ozzie.” Replace the fist with a picket fence. Replace the bats with The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet cast. Wait, hopefully a long time, for a new cease-and-desist.