“I Hate to Ask”: Are You Addicted to Social Networking, Baltimore?

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Check out this funny poem by regular Baltimore Fishbowl contributor Elisabeth Dahl, which won an honorable mention in the 2012 Wergle Flomp humor poetry contest sponsored by Winning Writers. We love the rollicking rhythm and the way Dahl tilts her silly lens to look at a topic to which we can (virtually) all relate (and interrelate). We’d love to hear your reaction below!

I HATE TO ASK

I hate to ask, but would you click
This blinking rainbow fetching stick?
For every click, a dollar goes
To stray dogs in the Poconos.

Now take a sec, if you don’t mind,
To “kiss” my child at BabyFind.
The baby with the highest tally
Wins a trip to Simi Valley.

Oh by the way, it is your turn
To make a move in Letter Churn.
And when you get there, you will see
That my last move was QUIXOTRY!

And now I wonder, have you seen
This article on soup tureens?
It’s written by my good friend Mike,
So when you’re finished, please click “like.”

And while you’re at it, would you go
To nominate my one-man show
For City’s Best, then do the same
For my pal’s diner, Bright Blue Flame?

And have you read my Tooter feed?
My handle there is LoveStampede.
I like to catalog the ways
I spend each minute of my days.

Next week I plan to leave and go
Into the heart of Borneo.
So in my absence, if you will,
Please tend my crops on Gardenville?

 

Elisabeth Dahl is a Baltimore-based writer and editor. Her first book, a novel for children entitled Genie Wishes, will be published by Amulet Books, an imprint of Abrams, in the spring of 2013. More information about the book, as well as Elisabeth’s shorter fiction, essays, and poems, is available at elisabethdahl.com or via Twitter: @ElisabethDahl. This poem is an homage to the great Shel Silverstein.



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