As Valentine’s Day approaches, are you feeling heartbroken, betrayed, spurned, or filled with spite? If so, Maryland Zoo’s “Dollars for Dung” program invites you to turn away from heartbreak and towards your nose for revenge.
The Dollars for Dung program lets people send the zoo five bucks and a name. The zoo will christen a fresh pile of animal dung with that evil ex’s name. There are even additional options, depending on one’s level of resentment: the “Ghoster Ex” costs $5, the “It’s Not You, It’s Me Ex” is $10, the “Stage Five Clinger Ex” is $15, and the “Gaslighty Ex” will set you back $20. (No one asked the author, but “The Windbag Ex” was RIGHT THERE, people.)
The bonus is that the money goes to a good cause with real-world impact: the Maryland Zoo’s conservation programs. The zoo is home to more than 1,000 animals, many of which are critically-endangered species, like Panamanian golden frogs and African penguins.
Dung dollars support vital conservation efforts at the zoo and in native habitats around the world. Of course, the Maryland Zoo supports species native to Maryland, but it also works hard to care for African elephants and is committed to their survival in the wild. Chimpanzees receive the highest level of care at the zoo, but face threats to survival in their rain forest habitats, too. Dung Dollars help their survival in the Amazon.
So, if that ex is a stool, release yourself of the resentment that has your emotions in a pinch. The zoo even sends donors a certificate celebrating the explosive kindness and impact their donation has on vulnerable wildlife around the world.
To participate in this dungtastic fundraiser, click the link and wipe your ex from your mind! Happy Valentine’s Day, after all!
