Tag: Ryan Lochte

Michael Phelps Makes a Splash at MTV Video Music Awards

0
Michael Phelps at the VMAs
Michael Phelps at the VMAs

Michael Phelps emerged from his underwater habitat to attend the 2016 MTV Video Music Awards with his fiancee Nicole Johnson. While he was there, the newly “retired” Baltimore-born Olympian revealed a secret about his famous game face and freaked out over Jimmy Fallon.

Michael Phelps Takes Baltimore on (Excellent) Emotional Rollercoaster: A Love Letter

0

Dear Michael,

When I read on Saturday that you’d come in fourth in the 400-meter individual medley, your first event in your last-ever Olympics, I have to admit I felt extremely something that starts with an s — sorry, stifled, ssss… Okay, sad. Briefly, but I felt it. This “S” emotion took me by complete surprise because I’m not a rabid sports fan nor a committed viewer of the Olympics even. And I’ve never been a faithful Phelps follower, despite finding it mildly intriguing that the often idiotic media has seen fit to celebrate U.S. swimmer Ryan Lochte’s sex appeal as winning the competition over your own. (This type of superficial analysis couldn’t have helped your day-one morale, not that it wasn’t entertaining to read and weigh in on personally here at Baltimore Fishbowl.)

Help Michael Phelps Get His Sexy Back

2

How can we help Maryland’s Mr. Phelps get his sexy back to good PR effect, Baltimore? Or at least locate his innate sexy, if he’s possibly never flaunted it to begin with? The guy needs only three more medals — to add to his 16 — to call himself the biggest winner in Summer Games history. (That’s sexy, but not enough, evidently.) Jill Rosen of The Sun was rightly up in arms yesterday after a New York Times article crowned Phelps’ chiseled chief competitor Ryan Lochte “this Olympics’ all-American swim hunk.” She’s right, The Times is figuratively handing Lochte the gold as they dally over details of his “blue eyes, aquiline nose and dimpled smile,” and go on to explain that Lochte’s “emerging as the bigger story.” For shame, lame cultural era.

Lochte’s been on the cover of Vogue; he has a nonchalant catchphrase, “Jeah,” which is, right, simply yeah with a j instead of a y. And he is uncommonly pretty of face, if you like that in your swimming man. Advertising guru Bob Dorfman does. He’s extremely intrigued by Lochte, while confessing to be “Phelps’ed out.” Ouch.

Still, deep-grinning Michael Phelps has so much going for him — physically, mentally, height-ily — I thought we should put our heads together to come up with some creative tips for revamping his slippery image, especially if his Olympic mood and performance might be favorably affected. See below, and please add your suggestions.

Ryan Lochte, below, is a competitive swimmer, not a soap opera actor.

Guides