It seems only fitting that Baltimore – home of macabre master Edgar Allan Poe – now boasts one of the most jaw-dropping homes to hit the Internet: a tidy bungalow filled with coffins and crosses and done up in fifty shades of gray.

The Zillow listing for the one-bedroom, one-bathroom home at 228 Townsend Avenue in Brooklyn Park features 82 photos and garnered widespread attention when it went live this week.

“Creepy ‘coffin house’ with goth death décor is to die for,” quipped The New York Post.

A coffin in the living room. Guillotines, Grim Reapers and Las Vegas Raiders football team jerseys  on the walls.  Cemetery gates and tombstones in the backyard. Stairway railings covered with permanent spider webs. An upstairs sleeping loft with Gothic crosses around the bed and mirrors on the ceiling.

A writer for Slate, Dan Kois, tracked down the real estate agent, producing a Q and A that asks whether it’s better to “neutralize” a house like this to make a sale or just embrace the seller’s touches.

“You should have seen it before,” broker Matt Godbey answered, refusing to disclose any information about the seller and his dark interests.

“I’ve learned in fair housing seminar after fair housing seminar, you do not talk about people,” Godbey said. “You want me to tell you how many square feet or how long the driveway or what it looks like inside, no problem.”

Godbey’s listing calls the property a “one of a kind rare home, ” and says “seller has made many improvements.”

Photos do a good job of showing them: The black and gray color scheme. A church pew in the bedroom. An outdoor bar with the tail end of a hearse hanging on the wall. A skull-themed mural on the garage. Coffin-shaped objects everywhere. And an extra bonus: All kinds of Las Vegas Raiders paraphernalia in the dining room.  

The New York Post marveled at how “exceptionally tidy” the house is: “Perfect for the weird loner obsessed with death.”

Twitter is going crazy with comments and puns:

  • “Wasn’t that a stash House in The Wire?”
  • “Looks like it has good bones.”
  • “The coffin should count as a second bedroom.”
  • “This is just going to give my husband decorating ideas.”
  •  “I mean at least they have an aesthetic.”

 All for the tidy price of $225,000. But hurry. People are dying to see it.


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Ed Gunts

Ed Gunts is a local freelance writer and the former architecture critic for The Baltimore Sun.