Freemasons Congregate in Baltimore, Presumably to Plan World Takeover, Assassinations, Etc.

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The Freemasons are hosting their annual Conference of Grand Masters of Masons in North America this week, bringing 500 of the continent’s leading Masons to the downtown Marriott. This is a big deal since, as we all know, the Freemasons are responsible for faking the moon landing, assassinating JFK, instituting income taxes, and pretty much controlling the entire US political and economic system.

Okay, so maybe some of that isn’t exactly true. The Masons are, however, the oldest men’s charitable organization in the world, and members have included Davy Crockett, Benjamin Franklin, and Duke Ellington. Oh, and they also control CBS, Dairy Queen, and America Online, as this website succinctly proves.

Ooops, sorry, got sucked in to the conspiracy theories again. “Our real secret is the sense of brotherhood we have as we try to make good men better,” Indiana’s grand master told the Baltimore Sun. Hmmmm. Sounds suspiciously… normal.

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