So we know the Baltimore Ravens will touch down at BWI Airport sometime this afternoon, but as much as we’d like to greet them upon their arrival, airport officials are discouraging the idea.
Okay, fine. We get it. Safety first. But, if I were a Raven, and I had just won a freaking Super Bowl on behalf of a scrappy, down-on-its-luck city, and I wasn’t mobbed at the airport — I think I’d be mightily disappointed.
In fact, I’d expect nothing less than a sea of sobbing fans hugging me, handing me their babies, and asking me to sign various parts of their bodies to be tattooed on later.
So if you’re asking me — and nobody has yet — head to the airport incognito. Wear your Ravens jersey under a heavy overcoat. Maybe carry a phony “Welcome home, Janey” sign. And wait.
When airport officials ask fans “to clear the passenger terminal,” look mildly surprised. Remember: you’re just there to meet Janey. Then, once you spot your first Raven, let ‘er rip. Take off the overcoat, releasing the black and purple helium balloons (did I forget to mention the balloons?) and throw a fit. Good luck!