Okay, I'm ready.
Okay, this is the best I could do on short notice.

So last year Federal Hill resident Nancy Cook started “Orange Wednesday,” as the Orioles’ counterpart to the Ravens’ “Purple Friday,” and NOBODY BOTHERED TO TELL ME!

People, seriously. I started observing Purple Fridays last year, and do you know what happened? The Ravens won the freaking Super Bowl! The trick is to not just wear the color. Every Friday I ate eggplant skins covered in grape jelly, and I washed it down with blueberry juice while listening to “Purple Haze” on repeat.

I had to learn about Orange Wednesdays from WJZ-TV, which was embarrassing to say the least. And here it is Wednesday! I guess this full-body zentai suit will have to do. Now excuse me while I check my pantry for cans of pumpkin pie filling.

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