The pundit Allan Lichtman has asserted that no matter what happens at the debates — Biden could show up drunk in a bathrobe hurling obscenities at the audience and Ryan could suddenly become likable — Barack Obama is guaranteed to win in November. So that’s my excuse for passing on the vice presidential debate last night and instead tuning in for 13 mostly scoreless innings between the Orioles and the best team money can buy.
I’m sure the debate was exciting in its own way — I plan on googling for gaffes after I finish this post — but Game 4 of the American League Division Series was like four and a half hours of cold-war baseball. The game held at 1-1 as both teams botched scoring opportunities, cycled through pitcher after pitcher, and saw their sluggers generally struggle to get on base by something other than a walk.
Obviously other Baltimoreans were similarly engaged. When Oriole Manny Machado — who was born a year after Nirvana’s Nevermind was released, by the way — scored what was to become the game-winning run in the 13th inning, I posted “There you go!” on Facebook. No one assumed I was watching highlights from the VP debate.
Orioles for President!
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