Johns Hopkins Brings the Onion (& Other More Famous, Less Funny People) to Campus

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These are the writers for The Onion. They are funny, and they’re coming to Johns Hopkins.

So, every year Johns Hopkins hosts a Foreign Affairs Symposium. While that may sound like a dry debate between international relations wonks, it’s actually quite the opposite: It’s a chance for Johns Hopkins students to pick the speakers they’re most interested in bringing to campus. Oh, and it’s free.

This year’s theme is “Confronting Global Dissonance: The Balance Between Realism and Idealism,” and the slate of speakers is pretty rad. Here they are:

February 19 – Martin O’Malley
Perhaps you’ve heard of this guy? He really, really wants to be president.

February 26 – Staff Writers of The Onion
Yes! Such a smart move by the FAS team. The Onion is the source of some of the sharpest political writing out there these days; we can’t wait to hear their satire IRL.


March 13 – John Bolton
Iran’s foreign ministry calls this former diplomat “rude.” Maybe that’s because he says things like this: “there is no United Nations… there is an international community that occasionally can be led by the only real power left in the world, and that´s the United States, when it suits our interests, and when we can get others to go along.” Expect hecklers!
March 26 – Cornel West
West exemplifies the best of both worlds: He’s a highly-respected scholar and former Harvard professor who has also appeared in The Matrix and on Law & Order. Put this one on your not-to-be-missed list.

April 1 – General Michael Hayden & David Cole
Not an April Fools joke: This evening will be a debate between the former director of the CIA and NSA and a Georgetown professor of constitutional law. The subject? Privacy in the age of data collection.
April 16 – Jessica Jackley
Jackley founded Kiva, the world’s first microlending website. (I gotta say — my one complaint about the FAS is that they very rarely feature women. Just sayin’.)

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