Rapture Officially Delayed: The End Isn’t Here!

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If you’re reading this, you are alive, and therefore, the Rapture has probably been delayed (again). Another close call for Maryland, and the entire planet. Let’s take a moment to breathe a collective sigh of relief. (Hope you didn’t quit your job.) Let’s also take a moment to vent in the name of poor life-or-death planning!

As you’re no doubt aware, professional rapture-revelator Harold Camping (who looks like a patriarchal granddaddy character on “Big Love,” with ears bigger than Harry Dean Stanton’s), after mistakenly announcing that the world would end last May 21st, revised his prediction date to October 21st, which happens to be today. Camping, 90, who now resides in a nursing home, is the host of Family Radio, a Bible-centered podcast.  On a show earlier this month he noted, “I do believe we’re getting very near the very end. Oct. 21, that’s coming very shortly, that looks like it will be, at this point, it will be the final end of everything.”

Camping added that this very end’s going to come very, very quietly, by the way, with Gawker winking that the prophet seemed to be hedging his bets — maybe the Rapture’s curtain will fall so silently, we won’t even notice he got it right this time!

Interesting to note that, in 1992, Camping warned that the world would for sure end in 1994.

We do wish the aged sage would make up his mind once and for all. If God’s listening to Camping’s podcast, maybe he’ll coordinate his closeout plans accordingly. Last May, many frightened families said goodbye to their homes and took to the streets to warn citizens of the 5/21 finale. They’ve had about five months to regroup and plan for the 10/21 departure, and we’re betting they’re pretty steamed right about now.

On the bright, we’re-still-alive side, now that you’ve got some days to kill, what do you plan to do with your precious extra time on the planet? Please let us know below!

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