Tag: dc

“DC is Oh So Much Better Than Baltimore” — Oh Really?

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Last week, Thrillist published a post enumerating “10 reasons DC is so much better than Baltimore.” It is, as several commenters have pointed out, clearly incorrect; the writer appears to have never ventured beyond the Inner Harbor, and has some funny ideas about what constitutes “good parties.” Without further ado, here is my 10-point rebuttal of things that Baltimore does better than DC:

Wal-Mart Is Mad at DC City Council, Threatens Massive Sulk over Living Wage

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Photo via Wikimedia Commons
Photo via Wikimedia Commons

Because they’re jerks, Wal-Mart’s corporate management is threatening to scrap the three stores it had planned to build in Washington, DC if the city council doesn’t play by its rules. What’s got them so upset? Oh, this little thing called “paying employees a fair wage.”

The DC City Council is in the midst of passing a bill that would require stores doing business in spaces of 75,000 square feet or more to pay employees at least $12.50 an hour. To put things in perspective:  both of the Baltimore-area Whole Foods grocery stores are around 25,000 square feet.  Wal-Mart’s total revenue for the first quarter of 2013 was $114.2 billion — and that was considered “disappointing.”

Baltimore Feminist Group Brings its Action to Washington DC Today

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Remember FORCE, the Baltimore group that pranked Victoria’s Secret a few months ago? Well, they’re up to more status-quo-disrupting shenanigans — this time in Washington, D.C. According to organizer Rebecca Nagle, the group is “carrying 44 giant, red styrofoam letters to the national mall in DC to write the poem ‘I CAN’T FORGET WHAT HAPPENED BUT NO ONE ELSE REMEMBERS.’  The action is a call to create a national memorial to survivors of rape and abuse.” The action is set to happen at 2 p.m.; follow along on Twitter or Facebook, and stay tuned for photos of the event here on Baltimore Fishbowl tomorrow.

No One Outside of Baltimore Should Be Allowed to Eat Berger Cookies

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First, Baltimore’s beloved fudge-topped cookie pillows expanded to D.C., and found a bunch of snobs: “Is this cosmopolitan region really ready to embrace a cookie that admittedly looks as if its fudge creme topping was slapped on by 5-year-olds hopped up on Mountain Dew?,” Andrew Reiner wrote in the Washington Post. Hmph. And it gets worse from there.

Would Baltimore Survive a Nuclear Attack on D.C.?

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While rising ocean levels may flood Charm City, there are some other disasters that we’d have a decent chance of surviving. Like, what if someone detonated a nuclear bomb near the White House? According to a government study, the explosion would destroy everything in a half-mile radius. The flash would be so bright it would blind Beltway drivers. But it wouldn’t be the end of the world — for Baltimore, at least.

The study looked at the impact of a 10-kiloton nuclear bomb, which is big — about 5,000 times bigger than the Oklahoma City bombing’s blast — but not as terrifying as the Cold-War era bombs dropped from the sky. The kind of nuclear weapon you could fit in a van couldn’t produce Hiroshima-level destruction. “If you are thinking about (a city) being wiped off the face of the earth, that’s not what happens,” says Brian Michael Jenkins, a senior advisor to the president of the RAND Corporation. So the White House would be flattened, but the U.S. Capitol, the Supreme Court, the Washington Monument, and the Pentagon would probably sustain only light damage.

Baltimore’s Alfalfa Club Members

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The power elite convened at the Capital Hilton Saturday night for the Alfalfa Club dinner, an annual event that brings together the heaviest of business and political heavy hitters. It is expected that the President of the United States attend each year and this year three presidents — George W. Bush, George H.W. Bush and Barack Obama — were there.  

But it’s not just inside-the-beltway denizens who are invited to rub elbows. Alfalfa Club Baltimoreans include Johns Hopkins Opthamologist Neil Bressler, Under Armour CEO Kevin Plank and former Oriole and Baltimore icon Cal Ripken, among others.

Membership of the elite club was made public just recently when Occupy DC, whose members also convened at the Capital Hilton in protest,  published a PDF of the list of members on its website. 

Best joke of the night, according to The Washington Post, was told by former Supreme Court Justice and outgoing Alfalfa Club President Sandra Day O’Connor: “Mitt is the Mormon — but Newt is the polygamist,” she quipped.  Who says women aren’t funny?

Baltimore: A Fine Place to Be an Artist

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Our neighbors to the south have recently been arguing about whether DC is a good place for artists (Slate:  “DC:  The Anti-Berlin”; Washington’s City Paper:  “Why Slate is Wrong About DC”). According to Slate’s Matthew Yglesias, “If you’re a semi-employed artist or guitar player it’s much more expensive than Philadelphia or Baltimore and still smaller and less interesting than New York City.” Which made us wonder:  is Baltimore a better place for artists to live?

Well, first of all, we’re cooler. (Duh.) But if you want to get scientific about it, there are plenty of official metrics that’ll support our superiority.  For example, Baltimore’s artists have a higher average income than their DC counterparts ($46,012 versus $41,118); the same is true for our musicians ($40,636 versus DC’s $34,109). However, Baltimore’s writers and editors earn less than their counterparts in the District (sigh).

Of course, $40k in Baltimore will go farther than the same amount in DC. City data guru Richard Florida crunched some numbers to find out how much money arts/entertainment/design workers have left over each month after paying for housing, and — no surprise — Baltimore beats out DC and Philadelphia.

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