Slot machines are the worst kind of gambling. They draw you in with their flashing lights and goofy themes, but require nothing more of you than your ability to sit on a stool and spend increasing amounts of money. There’s none of the mathematics, bluffing, or complex decision-making required by actual card games. So the idea of a slot machine that costs $500 to play once is, frankly, a little horrifying to me.
(All that said, I have definitely wasted at least a few hours of my life playing slots in Vegas and enjoying myself immensely. What can I say? Human beings are complicated creatures, capable of holding contradictory thoughts at the same time.)
Maryland Live’s $500 slot machine, a.k.a. the $1 Million Double Gold, provides gamblers with the chance of winning $1 million in one fell swoop. Casino officials aren’t sure about the odds yet, but they’re “looking into” it. The casino already had one $500-a-spin slot machine, which had a top prize of $500,000; it has been played about 10,000 times over the past year. No one has won the jackpot.
As Ryan McDonald points out at the Baltimore Business Journal, considering the odds you’re probably better off betting that $500 on the Orioles. Or spending it on a meal for your favorite people at a fancy restaurant. Or a weekend at the beach. Or investing it in the stock market.
I’d put the 500 bucks on the roulette table somewhere…if you’re willing to bet $500 and lose it immediately, that’s the best way to do it in my mind.