Theresa M. Jefferson, the Lansdowne woman who took a Wal-Mart-cleaning-aisle brawl to the next level (or the next-next level) by pouring a bottle of bleach on Ebony Odoms — after Odoms had let loose with some Pine-Sol — creating chlorine gas that shut down the store and sent 19 customers to the hospital, pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault and was sentenced to five hard years…. um, of staying out of Wal-Mart.

That’s right. For the next five years, every time she feels like kicking back with a lemon-lime soda, she’ll have to seek out an alternative to Sam’s Choice. Every time this poor woman finds herself in need of a garden hose, a DVD, and some socks she may have to actually go to three separate stores to get them. (Or I guess she could go to Target.)

I just hope there’s some kind of program that will help Jefferson ease back into mainstream society after five years of having to do her shopping at stores not officially known for having “Low prices. Every day. On everything.”

Okay, she also got 100 hours of community service and five years probation. And she was appropriately remorseful at her sentencing.