David DeBoy shows how to spend ‘corn-teen’ with your Baltimore Hon

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Image still via YouTube.

In 2011, local entertainer David DeBoy made a splash with a Baltimore-centric song about his sweetheart, “Baltimore Hon.”

Now he’s back with an updated version that shows he’s keeping the flame alive, even in a “corn-teen.”

“Baltimore Hon in Quarantine” is DeBoy’s latest ode to the woman he loves (his wife Joellen), and how they’re passing time in the age of COVID-19. As with his previous ditty, it’s written in Bawlmer-ese (except that he pronounces the T in Baltimore.)

The gubner’s on the teevee and he’s closin’ awl the bars
And we’re gonna hafta leave because of that Coronavars
And we gotta leave now becuz we’re all bein corn-teen’d
So I went ho-em, ho-em, ho-em to my Baltimore hon, Baltimore hon.

DeBoy is an actor and writer who is well known for a string of novelty songs with a Baltimore theme, including “Crabs for Christmas” and “Christmas on the Stoop.” Some may remember him from his days at the Bolton Hill Dinner Theater. A veteran of local television, he’s had roles in locally filmed shows “House of Cards,” “Veep,” “The Wire” and “Homicide: Life on the Street.” He’s also the Master of Ceremonies for Baltimore’s annual HonFest in Hampden.

DeBoy’s updated song shows ways a frisky couple can take advantage of time in lockdown with each other, Bawlmer style. He has an antidote for the times, as he puts it, “when I get too grouchy, from way too much of that Dr. Fauci.”

DeBoy sings about using Tito’s Vodka as hand sanitizer, playing doctor with face masks and not practicing social distancing with his wife. “When push comes to shove,” he says, “she comes to me for some fu-un, my Baltimore hon.”

DeBoy ends with the obligatory guidance for listeners to wash their hands and stay home.

Now we know this thing is serious; too many folks have died
So we’re singing to remind you to keep all your hons inside
If you go out put a mask on and you warsh your hands real good
And please take care of each other like all Merry-landers should
And if you follow these rules, Hon, we’ll see you at the next HonFest.

Ed Gunts


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