Denver Mayor Conveniently Strains His Quad When He Promised to Dance Like Ray Lewis

0
Share the News


ray-lewis-dance

What’s up with these politicians and their fake injuries? First, there was Hillary Clinton’s convenient “concussion” and even more convenient “potentially life-threatening blood clot” that prevented her from testifying about the Benghazi attacks that surely would have brought to light the longstanding role of reptilians in our government. Now, we’ve got Denver Mayor Michael Hancock “straining his quad,” keeping him from performing Ray Lewis’s signature dance on Tuesday.

Hancock promised Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake he’d do the humiliating dance if the Ravens beat the Broncos. If the game had gone the other way, Rawlings-Blake agreed to light the Washington Monument in Broncos colors.

I don’t know about you, but I certainly wouldn’t have wanted to live through the alternate reality that saw crestfallen Ravens fans seething with rage at a blue and orange monument.

Hancock’s spokeswoman assured the press the mayor fully intends to give us the pointless, silly dance he owes us as soon as he recovers.

 

 



Share the News