Here’s a Terrifying Valentine’s Day Gift Idea

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Chocolates? Meh. Flowers? Wilty. A fancy dinner? Uninspired. If you really want to make an impression this Valentine’s Day — and you live within a 40 mile radius of downtown Baltimore — have I got an idea for you!

Poe, the Baltimore Ravens’ official mascot, is available to make a very limited number of V-day appearances, the Ravens announced this week. For $200, you can get a human being dressed in a giant bird costume to appear at your beloved’s home or place of work, where said giant bird will present him/her with a dozen roses, a box of chocolates, a dozen cupcakes, a $50 Giant gift card (romantic!), a Ravens hat, a Ravens lanyard, a signed photo, and a stuffed animal version of the bird himself. If they’re lucky, your loved one may also get to be engulfed in a feathery mascot hug.

Yep, that sure does sound like a “memorable” experience that your loved one certainly “won’t forget”…

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