Being Jewish doesn’t always come with community—sometimes you have to go looking for it.

Through the Jewish Connection Network, an agency of The Associated: Jewish Federation of Baltimore, that first conversation can be as simple as meeting someone for coffee.

For Shelly Lohmann, that’s exactly where it began. “I needed to find my people,” she says. “And I didn’t know where to do that.”

A Simple First Step

After the loss of her husband, Shelly found herself in a place many adults recognize, but don’t always talk about. Her routine had changed. Her social circles had shifted. And like many people, especially later in life, she realized that meeting new people wasn’t as easy as it once was.

“You don’t have the same natural ways of connecting,” she explains. “Your kids aren’t in school. You’re not working. Where do you go?”

Shelly first heard about the Jewish Connection Network (The Network) through her daughter, who encouraged her to fill out the organization’s “Get Coffee With Us” form.

The idea is simple—you fill out a short form, and someone from The Network reaches out to meet you one-on-one in a casual, low-pressure setting. They’ll get to know you and help you find your people and place in Jewish Baltimore.

“The immediate response impressed me,” she says. “You don’t always get that. Brenda reached out right away. It made me feel like there was a real person on the other end who actually cared.”

The Coffee Meeting

That first coffee meeting wasn’t structured or overwhelming. There was no agenda or expectations, just a conversation.

“Brenda asked what I was looking for’” Shelly recalls. “And honestly, at that point, I didn’t even know yet.”

Shelly was introduced to resources, programs and opportunities across the community. “It was warm and welcoming,” she says. “Just knowing there were options and someone was helping guide me made such a difference.”

From Looking for Connection to Creating It

A few months after that first meeting, Shelly began to recognize something important: there were others like her—people navigating major life changes, looking for connection and not quite sure where to find it. And while The Network offered many ways to connect, there wasn’t yet a space specifically for widows and widowers in her age group.

So, she helped create one. Today, Shelly serves as a Network Community Connector and brings together widows and widowers in their 60s and 70s for regular gatherings.

At one recent brunch, nearly 20 people gathered at Shelly’s home. “It’s a warm, comfortable environment,” she says. “We’re not sitting in a restaurant shouting over each other. We’re just getting to know each other.”

What began as one coffee meeting has grown into a circle of connection—new friendships, shared experiences and a sense of belonging. “I’ve met close to 30 people so far,” she says. “And everyone’s looking for the same thing—to make new friends.”

Why Starting One-on-One Matters

For many people, especially during times of transition, walking into a large event or unfamiliar space can feel intimidating. That’s why the Jewish Connection Network starts differently.

“We’re just here to help you find your people,” Shelly says.

That one-on-one approach allows people to:

• Share what they’re looking for—whether they know it yet or not
• Be connected to opportunities that fit their needs and interests
• Move at their own pace, without pressure

Gatherings are also low or no cost and designed to meet people where they are. “You’re not being asked to join anything,” Shelly adds. “You’re just having coffee.”

One Conversation Can Lead Anywhere

That first meeting might lead to:

• A new friendship
• A group you didn’t know existed
• A new routine or activity
• Or simply the feeling that you’re not navigating things alone

For Shelly, it led to all of the above, and more. “I’ve only found good things to come out of it,” she says. “I can’t really see any negatives.”

Take the First Step

The Jewish Connection Network has groups and events for people of many different life stages and identities. If you’re not sure where you fit, there’s an easy place to start—a conversation.

Fill out the “Get Coffee With Us” form and get matched for a one-on-one meeting: https://bit.ly/4uW1Zrw  

“Just do it,” Shelly says. “Push the button and make it happen.”