When Royal Caribbean International spent $48 million to renovate their ship the Grandeur of the Seas, the company promised “even more incredible onboard moments.” But this couldn’t have been what they meant.

I imagine it wasn’t as bad as being stranded for days in the Gulf of Mexico, but passengers aboard the Grandeur, which sailed from the Port of Baltimore Friday on its way to the Bahamas, experienced their own unenviable cruise ship nightmare Monday morning when they were woken up at 3 a.m. and instructed to stand on deck with their life preservers on while lifeboats were being readied, according to the Sun.

They waited for four hours with no information. Some people “passed out with fear.” Children vomited. Eventually it was revealed that the ship was not, in fact, sinking. A fire in the aft mooring area had been successfully extinguished, and none of the 3,000 persons aboard was injured. Still, the damage required an emergency stop in Freeport, Bahamas, the rest of the cruise was canceled, and passengers were booked on flights back to Baltimore.

Maybe cruise lines should start marketing their vacations to the same deranged thrill seekers who pay hundreds of dollars to be kidnapped. Board an ill-fated ship for a survival adventure on the high seas! Feel the cold spray of the ocean as you paddle for your life away from a fiery wreck! Now with more incredible onboard moments!