See, Baltimore. This is why we can’t have nice things. We invite the Washington Capitals and Boston Bruins over to the Baltimore Arena for a nice, relaxing preseason hockey game, and what happens? Someone throws a crab onto the ice after a Capitals goal.

James Briggs at Baltimore Business Journal saw last night’s crab incident as a misguided take on the Detroit tradition of throwing octopuses (what?!) during Red Wings playoff games. While he approves of the octopus tossing, he offended by this instance of crab flinging. Apparently, marine animals are fair game at hockey matches so long as they have a history of “symbolism” in the sport and it’s not a preseason game. 

According to Briggs, this proves that Baltimore doesn’t deserve an NHL team. All this whole thing proves to me is that hockey fans are the weirdest fans in American sports.