The Onion Ribs Baltimore’s ‘Quality of Pigeon Life’

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After making year-end best-of lists for travel and food, and being touted as a great city for millennials, it was perhaps inevitable that Baltimore would become a target of backlash. Thankfully, The Onion swooped in to keep everyone from taking things too seriously.

The beloved satirical publication’s latest take named Baltimore the “City With Best Quality of Pigeon Life.” Fictional Wall Street Journal editor Bethany Crandall is quoted as saying that, “The number and variety of puddles is a major draw, and the awnings are world-class.” We don’t get to see how these ranked on the Pigeon Livability Index, but Philly comes in as the best city for “single pigeons.”

Oddly, they didn’t mention Baltimore’s love of raising and racing homing pigeons. It was even in The Wire! Perhaps they hit their quota of Wire talk after the articles on heroin and violence.



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