On a cold, early winter evening, I peeked in the coop to check on the chickens. As usual, five of them were snuggled up next to each other on the roost, a tree branch my boyfriend, Jared, had affixed to the wall of the coop. But one, the jet-black Ameraucana we named Thing (because of the silly fuzzy feathers on her face), had been left out. She was huddled alone in the corner on the coop floor, below the other chickens: the spot reserved for the last in the pecking order.
Last spring, almost immediately after we picked up our one-week-old chicks from Whitmore Farms in Emmitsburg, the pecking order of our small flock was established. The two white Delaware hensโwe dubbed them Mrs. Hennelsworth and Ladybird, names that sounded bossy and matronly to usโtook charge. Theyโre the friendliest, the bravest, and the biggest birds. As the big mama, Mrs. Hennelsworth will discipline any chicken that gets out of line. For instance, if the others make a lot of noise while flying out of the coop into the runโthe fenced-in area of Jaredโs backyard that allows the chickens to roam outside yet be protectedโsheโll express her annoyance with a nip to the back of the neck. It doesnโt seem to hurt, but it sends a clear message: Cut it out!
The pecking order establishes top bird and bottom bird, and all the birds in between. Itโs thought to preemptively resolve any energy-expending fights over resources. In practical terms, it means that Mrs. Hennelsworth usually gets what she wants. I see it when I drop treats of apples, cabbage, and other fresh food into the run: Mrs. Hennelsworth gets her pick, with the other birds deferring to her.
The other chickensโtwo beautiful French Marans we call Sylvia Plath and Bernadette Peters, just for fun, and Sophia Concetta, a talkative black-and-white Ancona named after Jaredโs Sicilian grandmotherโget a nip from Mrs. Hennelsworth every now and then. But sometimes it seems that Thing gets in trouble more often than the othersโthat sheโs most often pecked, shoved out of the way, and denied access to the amenities that the other hens enjoy.
Why pick on the smallest bird just because sheโs little? It reminds me of middle school girls singling out their weakest classmate to be tortured. And how does denying any one of its members access to food and warmth benefit the flock?
I trust the chickens to do whatโs best, but I worry about Thingโmuch like I worried about Little Brown, the first of our flock who died. Little Brown was squarely at the bottom of the totem pole from the beginning. A beautiful brown and gold Welsummer, she was the only chick who could be โsexed,โ or identified as male or female, when she was a week old, so we knew from the beginning that she was a girl. She was small and very sweet; the group pushover, she never complained when the other chicks stepped on her or woke her up from a nap. She just took whatever they dished out and went on her way. She was immediately and without a doubt our favorite.
Little Brown got sick one evening in September, and Jared and I were heartbrokenโand unprepared. We didnโt have any antibiotics on hand, and we hadnโt done any reading on chicken illnesses. We knew we should isolate her, for her own sake as much as the other chickensโ, as she might infect them or get pecked to death in the flockโs attempt at self-preservation. They had already figured out she was sickโMrs. Hennelsworth had blocked her from entering the coop at nightfall, which is what tipped Jared off that something was wrong.
We settled Little Brown in a roomy cardboard box in the basement, with a bed of shavings and plenty of food and water. For several days she lay there, listing to one side; her toes were curled up, and tremors wracked her little body. As much as we loved her, Jared and I balked at taking her to an avian vet because of the cost. I appealed to friends and fellow chicken farmers for advice, but Little Brownโs symptoms didnโt point straight at any one thing. I suspected she had a viral disease that is common in chickens, and incurable, but there was no way to know for sure.
Why had this happened? Perhaps Little Brown, the only one of her kind, was susceptible to something the others had fought off. Or perhaps we newbie chicken parents had done something wrong that had caused, or allowed, this to happen. Or could it be that, because she was the littlest chicken, she was denied the nutrition, warmth, and companionship she needed to survive? Had the flockโs instinctual behavior doomed her since the beginning?
Jared had to go out of town that weekend to a conference, and before he left weโd talked about our contingency plans. โIf I get back and sheโs โฆ sleeping โฆโ he said.
โYou can say โdead,โโ I said, thinking he was trying to protect my feelings.
โI didnโt want to,โ he said, his face crumpling.
I spent the weekend visiting Little Brown, kneeling by the side of her cardboard box and encouraging her to eat and drink. I gave her B vitamins and Pedialyte with a dropper and left treats of hard-boiled egg yolks (yes, chickens love egg yolk) and spinach within reach, as she wasnโt able to walk anymore. Sometimes she seemed perkier, and once or twice I found her eating on her own. Although she wasnโt getting worse, she also wasnโt getting any better. I wondered how I would know when enough was enough.
When I picked Jared up from the airport late on Sunday night, I told him tearfully that it might be time to put Little Brown down. Once we got back to Jaredโs house and went to see her, he agreed. Weโd never done anything like this before, so we did some quick research to see if there was any way to do it besides the stomach-turning act of breaking her neckโbut there were no other options that would be as quick and relatively painless for her.
Jared told me he would do it and headed downstairs, visibly steeling himself. A few minutes later I heard a loud squawk, and my stomach turned. I put an old episode of โThe Officeโ on Jaredโs iPad and closed his bedroom door and put my hands over my ears. Ten minutes later, when he came back upstairs, he went straight into the bathroom. I heard water running.
When Jared finally came out of the bathroom, I said, โWas it awful?โ
โYes,โ he said.
We buried Little Brown under a persimmon tree, saying goodbye with a short and sad ceremony. Itโs not something I look forward to doing again. Life and death are part and parcel of raising any animal, and Iโve known since we picked up the little fuzzballs from the farm that we would have to face these things (especially if, one day, we decide to eat them for dinner). But our hens arenโt just farm animals. Theyโre also our pets. Jared and I made that choice when we gave them names and let ourselves love them. And when one dies, we donโt just bemoan the loss of an egg producer. We mourn the loss of a friend and companion.
As for whether the flockโs behavior will harm Thing or contributed to Little Brownโs deathโthereโs no way to know. The chickens will do what they will, the same way theyโve done it for thousands of years. All we can do is nourish and protect them as best we can. The rest is up to them. Iโll try to remember that the next time I say goodnight to them, the five up on the roost and the one down below.
Marianne Amoss is a lifelong Baltimorean and recent convert to urban and backyard farming. The former managing editor of Urbanite magazine, Marianne has also written for such publications as Johns Hopkins Magazine, City Paper, and the Baltimore Sun.
For more information about raising your own chickens in the city, read Charm City Cook: Backyard Chickens, today in the Baltimore Fishbowl or visit charmcitycook.



Marianne! This is BEAUTIFUL. Omigosh, absolutely beautiful.
Wonderfully, wonderfully written! What a bittersweet story.
Wonderfully written!
really wonderful piece, marianne. it’s so, so hard to lose them.
If you aren’t prepared to take a sick chicken to the vet because of the potential costs, then I question if you should have animals at all. Keeping animals or pets comes with certain responsibilities – including providing necessary medical care – that you don’t seem ready for.
Why wouldn’t you eat the chicken? What’s the point of farming if you just bury your crop?
@concerned, it is a chicken. I think they acted very responsibly. I’ve had chickens for about 30 years, and with it being a chicken, there’s only so much you can do.
Marianne, have you checked out http://www.backyardchickens.com/? It is a very active community that has helped me to diagnose several diseases and behavioral problems with my flock.
It’s amazing how much chickens can become your friends.