I had the good fortune of knowing I was going to be an awesome dad years before I inseminated my wife. I was director of a day camp for 10 years, the kids loved me, and I even look like Steve from “Blue’s Clues.” “You’re going to be an awesome dad,” the parents would tell me daily, and not just the single moms trying to get a piece of this. And by “this,” I of course mean free daycare. So inseminating my wife was a mere formality in collecting my prize as the World’s Most Awesome Dad.
-as adapted by Dustin Fisher
Once upon a long off season, Ravens fans were given reason
To sit in the bleachers freezin, spilling nachos on the floor –
For the Ravens paid Ray Rice, and though the halfback named his price,
They still would not even think twice when Flacco asked the team for more.
But still the city cheered for they would have Lil Ray for five years more.
“Praise the Lord” quoth Baltimore.