Tag: columbia

“Shorondra Reynolds” or “The Siditty Clerk Typist in B-3”

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Tuesday feeling too typical? Check out Baltimore writer Willet Thomas’s highy readable stream-of-consciousness story of a fat baby named Shorondra Reynolds, who won’t budge from our narrator’s rich memory-scape.

When Shorondra Reynolds was a baby we lived in a Baltimore brownstone on the edge of Pigtown. Just me and my mother, when there were no single mothers, just Adele’s mother or Mary’s mama, or Kiki’s madear, and their like. It was a time when a five year-old, like the one I was, could be led by Mr. Mackey, the custodian, to the basement dark spot where kids older than my five years played nasty under stairwells. A time when all that was needed to see a fly go its way and me mine was a penny toffee and a flashlight held close to my ear.

1902 Hollis was a building where everyone knew everyone. We knew Miss Reynolds because Miss Carol in A-2 watched Miss Reynolds’s brother’s kids on weekends, and though big, hardheaded boys, if you were short a nickel, they’d give you one, because their daddy was a mechanic and he was rich. Just like Miss Reynolds knew my mother and which apartment was ours, not only because of the bronze mailbox’s name slot, but because 1902 was a noisy place, what my mother mistakenly called nosey. If mothers hollered children’s given names, this told of impending punishments, just as raucousness coming from Miss Reynolds’s Saturday evenings told everyone her one-dollar-to-play, 50-cents-to-gawk Bid Whist game was underway.

Columbia Prepares for the Frenzy of a Wegmans Opening

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If I lived in Columbia I’d consider evacuating until the Wegmans frenzy blows over. The family-owned grocery chain that inspires cult-like devotion among its customers is opening a new location in Columbia, Maryland on Sunday.

According to a story in The Sun, Wegmans is expecting “a crowd of thousands” to be standing around the store “several hours” before it opens at 7 a.m. Management has even met with Howard County police to plan for traffic. (You should be proud of me for making it through those sentences without any exclamation points.)

Expected among the THOUSANDS in attendance, are the Women of Wegmans, six superfans who “attend every Wegmans grand opening in every state.” I wish I was kidding about that, but I’m not.

Yes, I know — they’ve got a great organic selection. Yes, it’s so clean in there. Oh, and the prepared foods! Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Don’t worry, citizens of Columbia, Cynthia Glover, who’s been working on Wegmans’s marketing of the new location predicts that the frenzy will die down “in a month.”

Just Look at All That Untapped Ad Space!

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If you’re like me, you often find yourself looking at the sky and thinking, “What, no ads?” Lucky for us, Columbia-based Bootcamp Lights is taking the quaint, and now rarely seen, phenomenon of airborne advertising to the next level with a helicopter-powered, digital scrolling billboard that will hover over traffic jams and large events to add some excitement to an otherwise boring sky.

Now if only we can figure how to place ads on the insides of my eyelids so I have something to look at as I fall asleep.

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