The woman infamously seen clumsily burglarizing a McDonald’s in Columbia last week has been captured, according to authorities.
The meterologist’s toss to the traffic reporter is as familiar as cooking segments to morning newscasts. At one Baltimore station on Thursday, however, Traffic Jam Jimmy was stuck at the drive thru at the opportune moment.
If you read Jeffrey Toobin’s New Yorker article on the Baltimore jail scandal (which you should! it’s fascinating!), you may have wondered how he got so many people to open up about what it’s like inside the Baltimore City Detention Center. It turns out it wasn’t that hard at all: He went to McDonald’s.
Joe Flacco is an authentic McDonald’s fan. The Ravens quarterback was caught at a McDonald’s drive-thru the same day he signed the largest contract in the history of the NFL. So you’d think the Super Bowl champ would be a bit more naturalistic playing himself in a McDonald’s commercial.
But stiff acting isn’t the only problem in the new TV spot for McDonald’s Mighty Wings that pits Flacco against 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick in a remake of the iconic Larry Bird/Michael Jordan Super Bowl ad from 1993. Unfortunately this sequel (which they’ve had 20 years to work on) is less interesting and makes a bit less sense than the original.
In the Bird-Jordan ad, the two legendary basketball players face off in an increasingly absurd game of horse. As ridiculous as the commercial becomes, horse is a real game that real people play. The new commercial has Flacco and Kaepernick throwing footballs between goal posts. Is that even a thing?
Remember the fun we had wondering about the Maryland winner of the Mega Millions back in April? McDonald’s employee Mirlande Wilson came forward saying she had the winning ticket (worth something like $100 million). Her co-workers claimed they bought the ticket in a pool. Wilson said that it was an extra ticket she bought for herself outside of the pool, and that she definitely had the winning ticket, but, then again, maybe not — some of the numbers looked familiar.
McDonald’s Manager Mirlande Wilson held a press conference yesterday, where she said nothing to substantiate her claim that she holds the winning Mega Millions lottery ticket sold from a Baltimore County 7-Eleven. All we really got was her new lawyer, Edward Smith Jr, saying he’s not sure that the ticket exists, and he’s never even asked his client.But I don’t blame her for wasting everyone’s time with an almost informationless press coference. If you ever are in a position to call a press conference, I say go ahead and do it. It’s probably a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Here’s what we know:
–She still hasn’t produced the ticket. She claims its hidden in the Milford Mill McDonald’s where she works. Legally she has six months to claim her portion of the prize, which would amount to $105 million.
–She claims with certainty that she possesses the winning ticket, despite her strange back-pedalling in the New York Post: “I don’t know if I won. Some of the numbers were familiar. I recognized some of [them].” (What?!)
—15 co-workers participated in a lottery pool with Wilson, and expect the winnings to be split 16 ways. According to Wilson, the winning ticket was one she bought for herself outside of the pool. (Hmmmm.) She says there are photocopies of all the pool tickets (but if that were true, why would her colleagues have reason to doubt her story?).
–A winning ticket was definitely sold in Maryland. But the 7-Eleven security footage depicting the purchase of the winning ticket doesn’t show Wilson, but instead shows a man. Wilson claims that one of her co-workers bought the ticket for her.
Oh, and if anyone stops by the Milford Mill McDonald’s for a burger, let me know what it’s like to be served fast food by 15 people expecting soon to become multi-millionaires.