Baltimore Fishbowl Contributing Writer MV Banks writes the following column for The City That Breeds, and asks, “Huh?” to many of the weird and wonderful offers and asks on the local version of the world’s biggest classified section.

MISSED CONNECTIONS
You know that unsettling guy from the bar you were avoiding on Friday night, or how about that girl that won’t leave you alone at the gym?  Here is where you’ll find them, in their tragic, creepy entirety.

“Altar server at St Philip and James”
Date Posted: March 17, 2013
Sex: Female (for M)
Age: 21
Message: “You were the altar server at 5pm mass this week. I have always admired you from afar and think that you are very cute/handsome. I doubt that you have noticed me (I don’t go to any events but I am usually in church). If you happen to see this, or someone you know sees this, I would like to meet you and get to know you. I know this might sound creepy, but really I just don’t know how to introduce myself and can be shy in public.”

Baltimore Fishbowl Contributing Writer MV Banks writes the following column for The City That Breeds, and asks, “Huh?” to many of the weird and wonderful offers and asks on the local version of the world’s biggest classified section.

MISSED CONNECTIONS
You know that unsettling guy from the bar you were avoiding on Friday night, or how about that girl that won’t leave you alone at the gym?  Here is where you’ll find them, in their tragic, creepy entirety.

“Steeler’s Fan (Raven’s Game)”
Date Posted: February 5, 2013
Sex: Female (for M)
Age: n/a
Message: “We met tailgating and once at Mother’s. I know you’re married, but I want to be your dirty little secret.”

Questions Raised: Is there any fruit sweeter than that which is forbidden?  One thing is a tryst with a married man, a rendezvous with a Steelers fan is a whole other level.  A discreet appointment with a married Steelers fan may be on par with the apple in the Garden of Eden.  Tread carefully, miss, lest the snake of the NFL draw you into questionably territory.  I question your discretion, due largely to your mentioning so many explicit details of your meeting and flirtations out on the internet.

Baltimore Fishbowl Contributing Writer MV Banks writes the following column for The City That Breeds, and asks, “Huh?” to many of the weird and wonderful offers and asks on the local version of the world’s biggest classified section.

MISSED CONNECTIONS
You know that unsettling guy from the bar you were avoiding on Friday night, or how about that girl that won’t leave you alone at the gym?  Here is where you’ll find them, in their tragic, creepy entirety.

“don’t let our youth go to waste”
Date Posted: January 24, 2013
Sex: Male (for F)
Age: 26
Message: “for the one i pushed away:

I need to walk by flowers with someone who can share my face
and it looks like no one can take your place
and I could bleed in sympathy with you
on those days
and I could drink up everything you have
don’t let it go to waste

I could give you memories to rival Berlin in the thirties
and I really understand your dating bar ways
and I could bleed in sympathy with you
on those days
and I could drink up everything you have
don’t let it go to waste

Say something warm, say something bright
cause I can’t stand to see it when you’re cold
nor can I stand being out of your life
I could bleed in sympathy with you
on those days
and I could drink up everything you have
don’t let our youth go to waste”

Baltimore Fishbowl Contributing Writer MV Banks writes the following column for The City That Breeds, and asks, “Huh?” to many of the weird and wonderful offers and asks on the local version of the world’s biggest classified section.

MISSED CONNECTIONS

You know that unsettling guy from the bar you were avoiding on Friday night, or how about that girl that won’t leave you alone at the gym?  Here is where you’ll find them, in their tragic, creepy entirety.

“Knicks Hat”
Date Posted: January 15, 2013
Sex: Female (for M)
Age: n/a
Message: “Beloved blue Knicks hat we have enjoyed many games since 99. Our last venture was to see Manhunter at the Charles where we were separated. I miss you. If anyone came across this treasure with white stitching on the back please help us reconnect!”