Tag: missed connections

Otakon Missed Connections!

0
Photo via Wikipedia
Photo via Wikipedia

I think my favorite season in Baltimore is “Otakon.” The city becomes alive with people in rainbow wigs, carrying spears, living their fullest lives. When it’s Otakon time, I could just sit around the Inner Harbor and people watch all day.

But perhaps even better than Otakon people watching is post-Otakon missed connections reading. It’s always amusing to scan the Missed Connections section of Craigslist to see who’s catching eyes around town; that activity is made all the more entertaining when you add in costumes and intense fandom. Here’s a sampling from this year:

The Best of Craigslist: March 2013 – An Overly In-Depth Review of the Wholly Inconsequential

0

Baltimore Fishbowl Contributing Writer MV Banks writes the following column for The City That Breeds, and asks, “Huh?” to many of the weird and wonderful offers and asks on the local version of the world’s biggest classified section.

MISSED CONNECTIONS
You know that unsettling guy from the bar you were avoiding on Friday night, or how about that girl that won’t leave you alone at the gym?  Here is where you’ll find them, in their tragic, creepy entirety.

photo 1“Altar server at St Philip and James”
Date Posted: March 17, 2013
Sex: Female (for M)
Age: 21
Message: “You were the altar server at 5pm mass this week. I have always admired you from afar and think that you are very cute/handsome. I doubt that you have noticed me (I don’t go to any events but I am usually in church). If you happen to see this, or someone you know sees this, I would like to meet you and get to know you. I know this might sound creepy, but really I just don’t know how to introduce myself and can be shy in public.

The Best of Craigslist: February Week 2

0

Baltimore Fishbowl Contributing Writer MV Banks writes the following column for The City That Breeds, and asks, “Huh?” to many of the weird and wonderful offers and asks on the local version of the world’s biggest classified section.


MISSED CONNECTIONS
You know that unsettling guy from the bar you were avoiding on Friday night, or how about that girl that won’t leave you alone at the gym?  Here is where you’ll find them, in their tragic, creepy entirety.

photo 1“Things You Should if you’re Kevin’s girlfriend”
Date Posted: February 16, 2013
Sex: Female (for F)
Age: n/a
Message: “ He has an STD and will definitely try if not convince you to sleep with him without condoms

-He’s already slept with another girl while dating you
– He’s high pretty much all day, every day
– He lies and he’s completely unreliable
– Maturity-wise, he’s essentially 14

Great guy to date, right?”

The Best of Craigslist: February Week 1 – An Overly In-Depth Review of the Wholly Inconsequential

0

Baltimore Fishbowl Contributing Writer MV Banks writes the following column for The City That Breeds, and asks, “Huh?” to many of the weird and wonderful offers and asks on the local version of the world’s biggest classified section.


MISSED CONNECTIONS
You know that unsettling guy from the bar you were avoiding on Friday night, or how about that girl that won’t leave you alone at the gym?  Here is where you’ll find them, in their tragic, creepy entirety.

photo 1“Steeler’s Fan (Raven’s Game)”
Date Posted: February 5, 2013
Sex: Female (for M)
Age: n/a
Message: “We met tailgating and once at Mother’s. I know you’re married, but I want to be your dirty little secret.”

Questions Raised: Is there any fruit sweeter than that which is forbidden?  One thing is a tryst with a married man, a rendezvous with a Steelers fan is a whole other level.  A discreet appointment with a married Steelers fan may be on par with the apple in the Garden of Eden.  Tread carefully, miss, lest the snake of the NFL draw you into questionably territory.  I question your discretion, due largely to your mentioning so many explicit details of your meeting and flirtations out on the internet.

The Best of Craigslist: January Week 4 – An Overly In-Depth Review of the Wholly Inconsequential

0

Baltimore Fishbowl Contributing Writer MV Banks writes the following column for The City That Breeds, and asks, “Huh?” to many of the weird and wonderful offers and asks on the local version of the world’s biggest classified section.


MISSED CONNECTIONS
You know that unsettling guy from the bar you were avoiding on Friday night, or how about that girl that won’t leave you alone at the gym?  Here is where you’ll find them, in their tragic, creepy entirety.

photo 1don’t let our youth go to waste
Date Posted: January 24, 2013
Sex: Male (for F)
Age: 26
Message: “for the one i pushed away:

I need to walk by flowers with someone who can share my face
and it looks like no one can take your place
and I could bleed in sympathy with you
on those days
and I could drink up everything you have
don’t let it go to waste

I could give you memories to rival Berlin in the thirties
and I really understand your dating bar ways
and I could bleed in sympathy with you
on those days
and I could drink up everything you have
don’t let it go to waste

Say something warm, say something bright
cause I can’t stand to see it when you’re cold
nor can I stand being out of your life
I could bleed in sympathy with you
on those days
and I could drink up everything you have
don’t let our youth go to waste”

The Best of Craigslist: January Week 3 – An Overly In-Depth Review of the Wholly Inconsequential

0

Baltimore Fishbowl Contributing Writer MV Banks writes the following column for The City That Breeds, and asks, “Huh?” to many of the weird and wonderful offers and asks on the local version of the world’s biggest classified section.


MISSED CONNECTIONS

You know that unsettling guy from the bar you were avoiding on Friday night, or how about that girl that won’t leave you alone at the gym?  Here is where you’ll find them, in their tragic, creepy entirety.

photo 1“Knicks Hat”
Date Posted: January 15, 2013
Sex: Female (for M)
Age: n/a
Message: “Beloved blue Knicks hat we have enjoyed many games since 99. Our last venture was to see Manhunter at the Charles where we were separated. I miss you. If anyone came across this treasure with white stitching on the back please help us reconnect!”

Questions Raised: Missed Connections is often a place of loss and sorrow.  I can tell you now, after months of regular perusal, that it is not uncommon to read many a, “I’ll always love you.  I miss you forever and always.”  This one is particularly tragic to me.  I imagine you and your Knicks hat had many happy memories together, much like Elaine and her Orioles hat.  I hope your hat reads this missed connection, and finds his way back to warm your beloved head.

The Best of Craigslist from January 7-16: An Overly In-Depth Review of the Wholly Inconsequential

0

Baltimore Fishbowl Contributing Writer MV Banks writes the following column for The City That Breeds, and asks, “Huh?” to many of the weird and wonderful offers and asks on the local version of the world’s biggest classified section.


MISSED CONNECTIONS

You know that unsettling guy from the bar you were avoiding on Friday night, or how about that girl that won’t leave you alone at the gym?  Here is where you’ll find them, in their tragic, creepy entirety.

Missed Connections and More: Dissecting the ads on Craigslist

0

Baltimore Fishbowl Contributing Writer Maria-Veronica “MV” Banks writes the following column for The City That Breeds, and asks, “Huh?” to many of the weird and wonderful offers and asks on the local version of the world’s biggest classified section.

Missed Connections

You know that unsettling guy from the bar you were avoiding on Friday night, or how about that girl that won’t leave you alone at the gym?  Here is where you’ll find them, in their tragic, creepy entirety.


“Hippodrome Theater (downtown Balto)”?

Date Posted: December 3, 2012
Sex: Male
Age: 62

Message: “You sat next to me Saturday evening at the Million Dollar Quartet show. section CMBAL row X* seat XXX*. You were with a chubby man. You were petite, short dark hair, glasses & the color of your lipstick was driving me madd. I wanted to kiss you & taste your lips. We smiled at each other twice. I wanted to speak to you , but couldn’t. I would love to see you again. Maybe only in my dreams.”

Questions raised: I am so impressed you’re on Craigslist at all, but especially for Missed Connections.  Mad kudos.  Now, what are the chances that the object of your affection also uses Craigslist?  Slim to none?  This breaks my heart, honestly, but you may need to search elsewhere.  I know 62 isn’t terribly old, but it’s old enough that this isn’t a guarantee buddy.

Guides